


There Goes the Groom

by Nilsine



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Infidelity, Situational Humiliation, Sweet Revenge, Urban Legends, Wedding Reception
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 16:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nilsine/pseuds/Nilsine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tired of those boring, predictable wedding fics, always ending with happily ever after? Then here is a tale based on a possible urban legend.</p><p>Previously from Fanfiction.net.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Goes the Groom

Once upon a time, there was a man by the name of Cloud Strife. At age twenty-seven, he had inherited a great many things from his father: his good looks, his business savvy, his spiky hair, and most importantly, his money. Yes, Cloud Strife was a wealthy, handsome young man, and soon, he would be married to a very pretty girl.

The lucky lady was named Aerith Gainsborough, a young, pretty, female socialite with bright green eyes and an even brighter smile. The moment his family saw her, they were certain that she was the one. Everyone thought them to be the perfect couple, two beautiful people who would make beautiful babies. And Cloud liked her kisses. It was like a fairytale come true.

So, on a particular sunny, spring shiny day in May, Mr. Cloud Strife and Miss Aerith Gainsborough tied the knot in the most sought after church in the city. The affair took place in front of a couple hundred individuals. Aerith's mother, Elmyra, cried tears of joy. Everyone smiled. Aerith smiled. Cloud smiled even wider.

At the end, everyone dashed on over to the most expensive hotel in the city, the Hotel Oleander. As tradition dictated, all expense was paid by the family of the bride, who were happy to do so. The largest ballroom was rented out. Everyone was seated. The food was Chicken Madeira with finely sautéed vegetables and fluffy mashed potatoes, all accompanied with first-rate champagne. The cake was coated with white, Chantilly cream.

The groom and his bride were seated at the front of the room at a long, rectangular table. Seated at his left was his best man, Zack Fair, followed by the rest of the groomsmen. On the right of the bride was her sister, a pretty young girl, who had the privilege of being the maid of honor; she was followed the remaining bridesmaids, also lovely in their own right.

While everyone was starting their dessert, a group of waiters entered the room, carrying modest sized envelopes. With quickness and precision, they gave an envelope to every adult in the room. When asked what the envelopes were, the waiters replied:

"The groom has an announcement to make after dessert. Do not open them until then."

When Aerith received her envelope, she asked her new husband of it, and he answered:

"It's a little present I planned for you."

Aerith's smile grew brighter with glee.

"A surprise for me?" she squeaked. "How sweet of you! You shouldn't have."

"Oh, yes I should," Cloud replied with a grin.

As soon as people started to finish dessert, and the waiters picked up their plates, Cloud stood up and tapped his spoon against his champagne flute. The room quieted. With boundless glee, he took the microphone, conveniently place on the table for such an occasion, and cleared his throat.

"Hello everyone," Cloud greeted. "Thank you for coming. It's a pleasure to see so many smiling faces on a day like this."

The pleasant comment won many smiles and nods.

"I'd also like to thank my father-in-law and mother-in-law for providing all of this," he continued. "I couldn't have done it better myself."

The room was filled with giggles and laughs. The groomsmen elbowed each other in mirth.

"Now," Cloud began. "I would like you to turn your attention to the envelopes you were given. You may now open them."

The whole room tore through the envelopes with heated anticipation. Their happy hands reached inside and tugged out a single, stiff piece of paper. To their horror and amazement, the paper was a 5 by 8 in., well-developed photograph of Miss Aerith Gainsborough and Mr. Zack Fair making passionate love on an anonymous couch. Many people gasped. Others gaped. Some fainted.

Well satisfied with the initial reaction, Cloud Strife turned to his pretty wife and calmly said:

"$#% you."

He turned to his best man, Zack, and once again said:

"$#% you."

Afterwards, he came back to a flustered, disturbed audience. With a big smile, he proudly proclaimed:

"Thanks everyone. I'm out of here!"

 

 

Cloud Strife experienced his first inklings of suspicion, just two months before the wedding. Two weeks later, he hired the best detective money could buy and finally found the horrible truth. But unlike the average man, who would have become furious or cried like big wuss, Cloud decided to go out with style. The rest is history.

As Mr. Strife exited the ballroom and surveyed the damage, he looked forward to the annulment papers he would be sending to Mrs. Aerith Strife on the following day. Not only had he gotten his sweet revenge, but he had also gotten his short-lived in-laws to pay for a $30,000 reception, and publically embarrassed his two-timing fiancée and ex-best friend in front of all their family and friends. Not to mention that he went on his way to an extravagant, exotic vacation for one.

And the groom lived happily ever after.

 

 

 

THE END


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